FEAR RESPONSE

The project I responded to most strongly was Alex and his presentation on lack of control. It was about how he feels like things out of his control could be helped by him personally when in fact there was nothing he could do about it. His presentation was my favorite and definitely the most vocal for the class as we, I guess I should say I, because I derailed his presentation wholesale, went on a 10 minute conversation or more on how we feel about choice in video games. His topic though and the means he went about creatively dispelling his fear was amazing. I don't play games a lot of the time the bad way when there is a choice because I, as a person and not a digital character, have feelings and play those games with the presence of mind that I'm playing them as if I were in the game making those decisions as myself. His choice to be a complete prick and blow up a town full of innocent people just to take out his frustrations really demonstrates the therapeutic aspect that playing games can have and why I'm so against the argument of games are detrimental to the attitudes and behaviors of children and people. Its as simple as if you have problems with violence or anger, games may not be for you! Or if you don't like the message in the games that are out there and don't want your kids exposed, don't buy them! That's all you can do! It's the same with any other objectionable content that is harmful or considered "potentially harmful". As much as people want to get rid of porn, or cigarettes or illicit drugs they will always be there because it makes some big wig at a chair smoking a fat stogie millions of dollars. Sometimes you just have to relinquish control and just accept the fact that shit happens whether you like it or not and no matter how much of a stink you raise it will never go away. This is why Alex's presentation spoke so strongly with me. I loved his creative outlet and wish I had time to just be a prick in games all the time!

Altared Book Post

Seeing as I forgot to post about my altared book before it was due at noon, I figure I'll say a little something about it now. My altared book is a subject of absolute hatred for me. See before I went to IUPUI, I attended ITT Tech, it was the worst experience of my entire life. It was easy, laid back and simple. We were spoon fed mediocre techniques in outdated software. All for a grand total of $35,000 for a two year program for an associates degree that meant nothing whatsoever. So I included everything I needed to from each assignment we did, thought my main focus was pouring out all the things I would say to any member of ITT Tech's Corporate bullshit artists or anyone attending ITT to try to save them from the hell that I endured for two years because I thought that was what college was. I thought college was getting shoved through class with elevator pitches and used car sales pitches to get my ass in a seat so they could suck the lifeblood of my financial security out of me until there's just a blackened husk as the last penny leaves my cold dead hands in my grave...This project really let me express my frustrations but unfortunately they still linger and are a source of contempt still. I was angry doing this project, doing my satirically sarcastic political cartoon style drawings. It just reminded me of the hell I went through obliviously because no one was there to decipher the financial jargon and the mumbo jumbo knowing that I'll just agree to their imprisoning terms and shitty conditions. They used the bait of "Here you don't have to pay for books" and "you only have to go to classes three days a week to be full time!" to lure students fresh out of high school or those of financial insecurity into their dungeons where they shackle you with that $ ball and chain that only grows at 16% interest. This rant is long but I just wanted to express how much emotion went into this book.

Class takeaway 12/9

Boy oh boy finals week is crazy...I feel bad I keep missing this class but the time to get my comic finished was absolutely necessary. Ugh a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders this week. I can finally start to relax

Class takeaway 12/2

This class was a little more nerve wracking because i had to present but i got some really good feedback on my fear. I loved how engaged the class got on alex's conversation about video games and it was literally my fault...oh well i hope it reflects in participation grade! Haha

Class takeaway 11/25

Im really interested in seeing everyones fear projects. It seems like the ones that have gone so far are very thoughtful and they really dove in deep to analyze what makes them afraid. Im even kind of excited to show mine.

Fear factor

1. My fear is an anxiety. It is an anxiety about driving new or unfamiliar places. Also i have an anxiety about my creative projects. I never feel they are done or dont look as good as they should.
2. I notice fear in my life semi regularly especially the creative kind but more recently the unfamiliar places kind. Especially with my school projects do i notice the creative fear.
3. My fears keep me from doing many things especially trying new things or going new places. The creative one keeps me from accepting my work as genuine and my criticisms put a shadow over what ive created.
4. Fear is a learned experience. I hate to be lost, the uncertainty of finding your way back, the tightness in your chest that comes with it, even if its a street or two over or a missed turn. The creative fear, im not sure about a use for that one, it keeps me on my toes creatively but lately its just a nuisance.
5.  It doesnt affect my life too bad unless i need to drive somewhere. The other one hinders my creative mojo. I feel like what i make isnt good enough
6. My fear takes the form of a line drawing i created. Its very maze like and tight. Symbolizing how i feel and what i see in my minds eye. It also kind of tackles my other fear because i disnt care how it looked it just was how it was.
7. It makes me conceptualize how i view my anxiety. I mean in this day and age its kind of hard to be lost with our phones being gps and all. But drawing out how i feel kind of helps release the tension.

Who are you and what are you doing here?

For this assignment, i really had to work hard to think about what really defines who i am and why am i here, i decided on the one side of my contour drawing with the drawing itself to be my "who am i?" side. I decided to take an obvious approach and write pronouns like me, myself, i, identity, flattop, nerd, pessimist, conundrum, caring, and intelligent. I couldn't really think of anything that defines who i am very clearly and it kind of ended up looking like the tags in a dating website profile... On the other side, i dedicated it to the "what am i here for?" section. I filled that page with all sorts of words that define my interests, things i love, duties, family, and my goals in life. This side i had much more fun with as i could really let loose because i know what i like and what i need in my life, where i want to go in life and the journey i want to have getting there. I know things won't go according to plan every step of the way, but that's part of the journey too. This experiment helped me delve deep into how i function on an emotional and personal level and helped me grasp better how to answer the questions "who are you?" and "what are you doing with your life?".

Class Takeaway 9

Well More life got in the way this week and I was unable to attend movie day, though I was able to do things for another class which have been driving me insane for a while now. I feel bad missing so much of this class but the time really does come in useful for other projects that are coming at me hard and fast...

Bliss

Obstacles to that perfect Altared book

1. artistic talent

2. Symbolic understanding

3.drumming up the hatred I once felt after I've already gotten over it

4. time

5. thinking of a deep dark secret to include

What if ?'s

What if I answer one of the incessant phone calls from ITT that keep coming in and let them know how I really feel?

What if I just burn this damn thing, will I feel better?

What if I use this p.o.s. expensive ass book as a transition from one horrible school to one that actually cares about their students and what they learn!

This Experiment really did help me figure out FINALLY what idea I should use for my altared book! Im really proud of this idea for once and would love to find the time to get started on it eventually.

So this class takeaway is great by the way. Take away 7

Seeing as how I didn't have to come to class, I spent most of the day sleeping in, now I'm trying to figure out what to do for the bliss assignment and how to work on my altared book. Today will be a good one.

Eugh...

If you couldn't already tell I absolutely hated what I thought I'd like. I figured I'd try asparagus for the first time and this is the result. I was still recovering from the effects of eating said evil vegetable when creating this... I imagine this as being what my brain was going through under the torment of that awful taste. It tasted like tree...I don't eat tree...

So yea...stuff and things

Not much has happened today, just sitting home sick. Days like these are the worst because theyre days you don't wnat to be sick and have the mental energy to do so many productive things but the physical energy is being sucked out of you like some stuffy headed medieval leech... I feel bad missing this class, but hey what can you do? The sickies come when the sickies come...

Work sucks

Work sucks so thats why I missed class on Monday. I HATE MINIMUM WAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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It sticks with me because I hate getting screwed over so I have to miss out on my education to fill in for people who can't quit correctly...

Rules were made...

This is a page from my comic book for the sequential narrative class. This is an example of breaking "comic flow". Typically comics are supposed to be read and the images within are supposed to form a zigzag pattern across the page leading you to the next page. The last two panels are the panels I chose to really break comic flow because all the direction is pointing left instead of right. I did this one to piss of Matt Powers because he is a bastard about comic flow, and on a more serious note, it gives the reader a sense of strangeness and a sense of being followed. I wanted it to read as creepy and unsettling.

Class Takeaway 4

Its been a while since I've posted but Today I'd really like to talk about the impact the film "Waste Lands" had on me. I thought it was a very interesting documentary that had a dual charm of getting deep down in the lives of these Brazilian garbage pickers and seeing their lives up close and personal and then seeing the change Vik Muniz was trying to make and the statement he was trying to convey. It was a very powerful movie to me and it certainly makes me realize that my life, though I complain and bitch and moan, isn't as bad as the people living in literal drug war zones, and who live among piles of garbage and in shacks made of what looked to be cardboard and tin roofing, surrounded by all manner of vermin, insects, and rodents. The emotion alone after the project was completed and the pickers seeing themselves as literal works of art was vastly superior to what they had been going through in their lives before then. Not to mention the literal act of transforming "garbage", which to these people was the only means to their survival, into works of art worth thousands of dollars and more because of the impact it had on the humble garbage pickers involved. It was great.

Dog ate my Homework

I must say this is the quickest I have ever done homework in my life! I got inspiration for the egg project as soon as I got home (and my brother totally was about to cook eggs for dinner! Lucky me!)

Dog Ate My Homework

Class Takeaway 1

Well I must say this was an unusual yet interesting start to a new semester. This class has me excited to get into the thought provoking and creative juice secreting (ewww...) mood I have so long desired to be in. I'm excited for this class not only because of the goofy/unique stuff Beth has planned, but also to watch and see other people's take on things that may even inspire me. Sure our first break of the semester threw me for a loop and was crazy cool, but I think the real treasure to be found in this class is self growth through others. It really does kind of feel like an AA session at times, hearing everyone's story about why they chose the class, but that is the therapy mixed in with the crazy. I heard several stories that resonate with procrastination and the realization that I actually have to make my ideas, they can't just come out of my head fully formed. That is something I struggle with and the term "white sheet syndrome" really illuminated my inability to put fingers to keys on my ideas with a concrete term, and it's something I think with time, and possibly this class I may get over. So I think that's a good rant for today. See ya!